Hi All, Just happened to read this humourous notice on the notice board of my institute in Chennai where i'm presently undergoing training. Thought i'd share it out with you all, if not a laugh i'm sure it'd bring a smile on your face.
Enjoy.
On a Typical blue monday all the employees of a reputed firm opened their eyes to the mail from HR department addressed to all employees.
Dear All,
In the view of persistent bad market conditions and the devastating effect it has had on our company the company has decided to do away with people above 40 years of age as a measure of reducing its workforce.
As an effect all employees aged 40 and above are eligible for RAPE (Retire Aged Persons Early) Scheme. People shorlisted for RAPE can approach management and enroll themselves under SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
People RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under SCREW Program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).
A person maybe RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as management deems it appropriate.
Those who are RAPED may get either AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents and Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severence).
People who have AIDS will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by management.
People not shortlisted under RAPE scheme will continue with the organisation and shall receive SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) from the management. The management takes immense pride in giving enough SHIT to its employees. Those who feel that the amount of SHIT received by them is inadequate may inform the manager who will see to it that the management gives you as much SHIT as you can take.
Regards
HR
